Kids On Airplanes? I’d Rather Have Snakes

kids on planesI’d rather have snakes on airplanes then kids.  Seriously.

Well, the non-poisonous kind of snakes.  They can even bite, because kids bite too.

Mostly snakes would slither around and try to find a place to hide.  Kids, on the other hand, run up and down the isles and bump your computer monitors.  They touch your stuff with their unwashed-post-lunch-hands and ask a lot of questions like the annoying, “what’s that?”, “what are you doing?”, and “can I have that?”.

The worst is kids sitting in your immediate vicinity on the plane.  I still haven’t figured out quite how, but a 5 yr. old boy managed to kick me in the head once.  Yep, that didn’t feel good.  Speaking of kicking, a child in the seat behind you is a sure bet to kick the back of your seat all flight.  There has to be a snake-like lawyer out there that’s sued an airline for “kid kicking seat induced whiplash” at some point.

Snakes only make a low, barely audible hissing sounds.  Kids scream.  They scream loudly.  A kid’s shriek on an airplane reverberates off the plane’s interior so even if you’re sitting far away from them, you still get a headache.

Oh yes, the headaches brought on by kids on airplanes are legendary.  Just ask any business traveler.  I take that back.  Don’t ask – it’ll immediately put them in a bad mood.

Wait, maybe I’ll change my mind.  I’d rather have even poisonous snakes on a plane then kids.  There’s a slight chance of being bitten by a snake, but with kids on planes there’s nearly a 100% chance of needing some strong medication during and post the plane ride.

Stewardess, I’ll take another cocktail please.

United Kingdom’s Business Travel and Meetings Show surveyed 1,000 U.K.-based business travelers on a variety of topics. When asked what annoyed them the most about business travel, nearly three quarters answered “children.”

That’s no surprise.  Airlines are you listening? Anything you can do here to help your highest fare paying customers out?

Perhaps “rugrat free flights”?  What are your thoughts?  Please leave a comment.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Sherrill April 12, 2011 at 6:39 pm

I would LOVE a rugrat free European flight. I take business class just so I do not have to sit near them…

George March 31, 2012 at 8:26 am

Haha true, kids on airplanes are incredibly annoying. That’s why headphones are a must, especially if you’re going on a long trip. 8 hours with kids screaming all the time? No thanks, I’ll pass!

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